Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Pain of Discovery - 3

"Jenny, I think you need to see this." Alicia said as she rushed into the room. She flipped the channels on the TV, stopping on a news station. "Isn't that your apartment complex?"
"Was. It was my apartment complex. Not anymore." Jenny said, glancing momentarily at the TV and away again. "Not anymore." She whispered, so low Alicia couldn't hear. The thought left a lummp in her throat. She missed Alex, even after all the stupid things he'd done, she missed him.
"Jenny are you seeing this?" Alicia's voice was shrill, panicked.
"What happened?" She whispered after a long silence.
Jenny jerked toward the Tv. Alicia's words made her feel uneasy. What she saw made her sick. Her apartment complex surrounded by flashing red and blue lights. Policemen everywhere. The news reporter was saying something about a murder. Before she was even fully aware what she was doing, Jenny was rushing from the room, running back to her apartment in the same state of panic she had been in when she left. For some reason she couldn't explain, she knew something was wrong. She felt it in her gut. "He's fine." She told herself. "Stop panicking yourself. Alex is fine." But no matter what she told herself, she couldn't bring her mind to believe the words. She raced around the corner and ran up to the police barrier. "Please!" She sobbed, "Please, I have to get in. I have to know!"
The policeman gave her a blank stare. "Lady, you can't go in."
"I have to!" She shrieked. She ducked under the yellow tape and bolted past the policeman, who had probably had one to many donuts in his life and was unable to stop her. She felt somebody try to grab her on her way into the building but she shoved them away, feeling nothing but raw panic. She burst through the door of her apartment, searching for some sign of Alex. The room was full of strangers. "No." she sobbed. She grabbed the arm of the person closest to her. "Was it Alex?" She whispered.
The man stared at her for a moment then looked away, unable to face her pain.
"Don't!" She shrieked, "Tell me! Where is he?"
The man swallowed noisily and pointed to the other room. He blinked rapidly through eyes filled with tears.
Jenny raced into the room then stopped, closing her eyes, unable to face it yet. When she opened them she found the room was empty. It hadn't been empty only seconds before, but it was empty now. Empty except for Alex's still body lying on the floor. His eyes were closed and she would have thought he was asleep, but she couldn't help but notice the blood staining the carpet. It was pooled around his head. "Alex." She whispered, "I'm so sorry. I never should have gone."
She knelt next to him and threw herself on his body. Sobs racked her small figure. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt, clinging to life, to a love she had thrown away. She frantically ran her hands along his chest, his face, through his hair, placing in her memory every curve of his body. "Alex, please don't." She sobbed, "Please. I was wrong. I can't live without you. The baby is yours." She pressed her lips to his, trying to breathe life into him. "You can't." She sobbed hysterically, "I need you. I've always needed you."
He lay still beneath her.
"Alex!" She screamed, "Don't leave me! I can't do this alone!"
She felt a pair of arms pull her away from him. "Leave me alone!" She shrieked, ripping from their grasp and dropping to the floor next to her husband. Her hand brushed the locket that had dropped from his graps. Instinctively, her fingers wrapped around the locket. She didn't know what it was or why she wanted it, but somehow she knew she couldn't leave it. "Please." She sobbed to the man standing next to her, the man who had tried to pull her from her love, "Please. I can't leave him yet. I can't." She whispered.
He knelt next to her and put his arm around your shoulders, pulling her into his chest. He smelled like old spice and cigars. The smell was comforting, it reminded her of her father. His rough hand stroked her hair. "I'm sorry miss. I'm so sorry." He held her while she sobbed against him, held her like a father holding his child. When her body stopped convulsing against him he spoke. "I know you want to stay, but right now we need to get you away from here. They have to investigate the scene." He pulled her away to look at her face. "I'll take you to the police station. They'll want to talk to you about this. Can you handle that?"
She nodded, feeling safe if he was there. "Will you be with me?"
He smiled and his eyes crinkled, "Yes. I'll be there."
"Thank you." She whispered.