6 Tips to Bring Yourself Back to the Positive

While I have centered this blog around the writing life, in reality it's purpose is to highlight the writing as well as the joy of following our passion, whatever that passion may be. I've had a lot of experiences over the past few years that have forced me to really look at myself and determine why I do what I do, and where I want to be by the time I leave this world. Or rather, what kind of life I want to look back on and see that I've lived.

The life I'm living so far is good. It's not perfect by any means, and there are a lot of dreams as of yet unfulfilled, but overall it's good. Despite that, I often find myself struggling to stay positive. Life gets difficult. My house feels like it's a monster bigger than I can handle. Children are crying at my feet, tears streaming down their faces, begging me to hold them. Books are calling to me with untold stories aching to get down on paper. Everybody seems to need everything and I find myself wondering... when is it my turn? Anyway, the point of that rant is this... life gets hard, stuff gets in the way until I feel like I'm just getting through, and I start to slip into the negativity. This is a bad habit of mine that I'm really working on fixing.

Negativity. The opposite of positive, the opposite of joy, pretty much the opposite of everything I want. He's a sneaky little guy, coming in when I'm defenseless, taking root before I've realized he's there. Gotta love him. But you see, I have tricks that I'm learning to combat negativity. Do they always work? Nope. But sometimes is better than never. So here are a few of those.

• Keep a gratitude journal. I've talked about this before but I probably shouldn't because I don't do this faithfully. Still, recognizing the blessings in your life is a great way to shift the context of how you view life.
• Write. Write. Write. I mean this for everybody, not just writers. Get up in the morning and write about what makes you feel good. I did this this morning and it was lovely. Brought my energy right up. I felt happy, I felt passion fluttering inside, and I felt a desire to take on the day. It was wonderful. I wasn't writing poetry or novels, I was simply writing what I wanted. I was writing about what I liked, and I only focused on what I like about the morning. It doesn't really matter what the topic is as long as it makes you feel good. 
• Find something that inspires you to be your best self. This could be a book, a movie, or a conversation with a friend. Again, it doesn't matter what it is as long as whatever it is is helping you see the incredible you that's buried under the negative. Seriously, somewhere hiding in there is an incredible person just waiting for you to open the door. So open it. Let your passion fuel your life. Find something that enables you to see you as you were created to be seen.
• Master mind with somebody. This is a concept I learned through Napoleon Hill's books, and it's a concept worth including in your life. If I'm low or struggling with negativity, I can often find a person that I trust and bounce ideas off of them. It becomes a mastermind where the people involved in the conversation drive the possibilities forward until you gain access to what you are really capable of. It's an effective way to find hope and the positive when you're drowning in the negative. 
• Take a break. I'm not joking. Get out of the house, take a drive to somewhere that feeds your soul, or go for a walk down the street. If you can't leave the house then find somewhere restful in the home where you can just be with yourself for a while. Don't focus on anything but your body and the incredible experience of relaxing. Take a bath. Have a glass of wine. Whatever you need to do to unwind. Make you a priority.
• Set aside time at night for yourself. As often as I can I make the nights mine. I get the kids in bed and I turn on a movie or I read a book I've been wanting to read. This is my time. You need that time to unwind and recoup before you have to wake up and start all over again so make it a priority as often as you can.

I know there are lots of tips and tricks you can do to feed the positive. I would love to hear what some of you do to stay positive when you're feeling a little low. Feel free to share!

Keep Going Even When it Hurts

Remember how I said that part of following a passion or goal is getting yourself in a good place emotionally? Yeah, I wasn't kidding. Unfortunately, you can't always avoid those drops that stick you in the black hole. The trouble is, once you're there, digging yourself back out of that hole usually seems impossible. For me, it's like trying to climb up walls of soft dirt so every move up the wall crumbles beneath me and I slide back down. Sound familiar? I hope not.
Guess what, the hole sucked me up today. Hi hole, how are you? Oh, you're deep today. Nice.
Fortunately, I do this often enough that I've learned a few tricks to pulling myself out. The sucky part is that I haven't yet learned how to stay out of the darn hole. It seems to like me.
Anyway, here's what I've learned.

• 1. Don't allow yourself to stay in 'the hole'. If you throw a pity party, you're never leaving. Usually that's what I want to do. Sit down and give up, tell the hole he won. But if you do this, he really does win and you end up miserable. If you must throw a pity party, make it quick then get your butt in gear!
• 2. Don't listen to the hole. Okay, so I sound crazy. There isn't a hole and it most definitely doesn't talk. But the hole is a mindset and it's a very mean, brutal, nasty mindset. It likes to make you feel like crap. It's very good at making you feel like crap. So what is it telling you? Well, it usually tells me that I am really bad at what I'm trying to do (Okay, it tells me I suck). That usually morphs into telling me I'm an awful mom and the worst housewife ever. Then it gets worse. It starts telling me to give up because it's all pointless anyway. What's the use in trying when every time it gets better it usually follows that it gets worse? Give up. Quit. Be done with it all. Stop dreaming. Stop living. You'll be better off. Ouch. Whack. Thump. Smash. Crack. The words beat against my resolve. STOP!!!!!! I finally scream. Get out! I don't want you here!
• 3. Which leads me to my third point. Do the opposite of whatever the nasty little hole is telling you to do. If it's telling you to quit, don't! If it's tells you to give up, try harder. If it tells you to be done with it all, power through it and keep going! Because, inevitably, you will rise from this hole and you will get back to a place where you can think rationally again. Those screaming voices will fade until they become just an annoying hum in the background.
• 4. Surround yourself with the positive. I know I keep saying this, but it's the best way I know to improve something that's really difficult. If you're focusing on all the negatives in your life, you're going to get a lot of negative. Trust me. I know. I do this. But I've learned that when I really focus on the positive I can view life in a better light and good things just seem to come my way. My problem is that once I'm in a good place, I forget to keep up the positive and the negative slowly comes back. Then guess what happens? Yep. The hole opens its gaping mouth and I fall in. So surround yourself with the positive! Fill your head with positive phrases, thank God daily for all the positive, wonderful things in your life. If you can't find any, then thank him for your health and the ability to breathe. Stick affirmations all over your house, things like I love who I am and I love being me or My life is filled with joy. Whatever you want to be, those are the thoughts that need to fill your head.

When you get back to a positive place, it's so much easier to see your goals and passions as achievable things, so do everything you can to get there. Don't let the hole win. I won't. I'm going to keep going today. And eventually I'll win my fight with 'the hole' and I won't slide into it anymore. Until then, I will move forward because that's what I do.